Hello, and welcome to the wacky, cracky world of adult AD(H)D!
My name is Stacey, and I’m “twice-exceptional”. YES! Sounds fabulous, doesn’t it? I mean, not only am I exceptional, I’m twice-exceptional! Don’t hurt yourself congratulating me. What it really means is that I have Attention Deficit Disorder and I’m also considered “gifted”…it’s called twice-exceptional, because half of my brain is capable of astonishing mental feats, while the other half can’t even bother to lift its leg when it farts, which for the most part, isn’t very productive if you ask me. Yeah…try using that thing to navigate through life! It’s a mess.
A person can be twice-exceptional in different areas, but I was blessed with the above. Unfortunately, I don’t play a musical instrument, I don’t sing like a canary, nor do I ever stop mid-sentence and begin writing math equations on the nearest window. As a matter of fact, there is not one certain, outstanding thing I can claim to be gifted in…I’m the proverbial Jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none. All the guts and none of the glory. None of the sugar and all of the shit. You catch my drift…
Though living as an adult (and kid for that matter) with AD(H)D, is a giant cluster-bomb of a life, I wouldn’t trade my superhero powers for anything. You didn’t know AD(H)D gave us superpowers? HOLY COW! What took you so long to get here? Beating yourself up for your deficits is so yesterday! The future is all about self-acceptance and using the gifts we were given to change the world.
You’ll read ALL about that in my book, “Here’s to Not Catching Our Hair on Fire“, but until then, poke around in here to get your spandex superhero suit ironed-up! I suggest you start by reading the post, “Drinking River Water” to prepare for the new, organic version of you and your adventure-filled life!
Love and laughs,
Stacey Turis
FOLLOW ME
July 8th, 2011 at 4:19 pm
Hi Stacey, I was recently diagnosed with adult ADHD. It really explains so much. After talking to my friend Dana,she told me you had a book coming out. I am looking forward to reading it in January. Congrats and I too am twice-exceptional!
July 13th, 2011 at 9:13 pm
Nice to meet you! So glad you were finally diagnosed…it’s so much better when you find out that you’re entire being of weirdness can be explained with one thing!
Make sure you join in the Facebook discussion…you’ll learn so much. I have for sure! Cheers!
https://www.facebook.com/pages/ADHD-Tales-of-an-Absent-Minded-Superhero/172333959478658
July 18th, 2011 at 2:36 am
Hi Stacey. I clicked on your like link a few weeks a ago and finally got around to reading your blog tonight. Doctors discovered my AD/HD back when they first started throwing those initals out in the seventies. I was given meds as a child and few rein as an adult (Lord help those around me!) Thank you for writing such a wonderful blog. It’s nice knowing that one isn’t alone in all this.
July 18th, 2011 at 2:59 pm
Thanks so much for the high compliment, Kimberly. I would love for you to post some of your material on the facebook page!
August 30th, 2011 at 10:20 pm
I am a 47 yr old woman who was just recently diagnosed about 2 1/2 yrs ago……and yes…it explains so much for me…my wonderful husband says there is nothing wrong with me, that I am perfect! Even though I am chronically late (one of my husbands pet peeves…and we’ve been married for 25 yrs!) My youngest son was also diagnosed at the same time….we both tried meds for about the 1st 1 1/2 yrs, but decided to learn to work with our given abilities and…well to be honest..I’m taking college courses and I’m having to train myself to focus and get my butt in gear…..so looking forward to your book…I’ve really enjoyed your postings on Facebook, since I found you….you have made me laugh at things you describe and that I have totally done…and will prob continue to do!~
August 31st, 2011 at 8:10 pm
Geez…I sounded like a drug pusher there! I just meant don’t try to be a hero!
August 31st, 2011 at 2:37 pm
Thanks Angela!
I’m happy that you like the page. You scored a jackpot with your husband! Mine is the same way, and I can’t imagine not having his support. Good luck with the classes…that’s tough, and I often wonder how I ever got through college un-medicated, but I did, and you can too. Of course, if you ever find yourself really having issues with focus, procrastination, etc. it wouldn’t be terrible to take something. When I really have to focus (like sitting down and writing) I take 5 mg of Ritalin. It doesn’t make me feel weird or shaky and gives me just enough to get over those humps (though not enough to take care of it completely so you still have to push yourself…just not as hard). Keep us posted! Go! Go! Go!
September 1st, 2011 at 9:01 pm
Hi !
Not really a hero because I blunder too much. But I like being an antihero, I don’t like being conventional, and a hero is meant to be different. And we are, but we aren’t perfect (we’d be soooo booooring if we were perfect). We’re just magic 
I’m just like you, a superantihero
Well, that’s so hard for me to remain F-O-C-U-S-E-D. I’m always disturbed by ADHD, my hyper neurone who chose MY brain to live in. Still, I’m friendly so I welcomed him (I didn’t have the choice but I’m quite accommodating). I also know Prock Rastination, another brainmate….
After my neurones’s introduction and after having just killed that bloody midge that ended its life on my computer screen (bloody, also literary), I’d like to know if your book will be available in France.
Thanks !!
September 1st, 2011 at 9:09 pm
ADHD isn’t sleeping yet (dunno for you, but here in France it’s night time – I start to be a catastrophe when I meet a number). He made me misspell the address of my website
Old devil ! ! !
For now, no mistake, I can post.
Have a nice day, and keep on being the superantihero you are
September 9th, 2011 at 3:34 pm
Marina, I thoroughly enjoyed your comments!
I will definitely keep on being the superanithero! 
XO
January 16th, 2012 at 4:07 pm
Stacey, I look forward to reading your book. Now don’t go big time on us and forget the little people that enjoyed your company during the high school days!! Congratulations on your success.. See you will be signing books in Wichita in March, I may just have to get your autograph!!
January 18th, 2012 at 4:15 pm
Trevor – THIS is what you were talking about! LOL! Thanks so much, and I’m excited to see you!
January 20th, 2012 at 2:14 am
I am three quarters through the first chapter. A big feat for me, as I actually have to stop everything else im doing to read. Any way… In tears… Not cause its sad.. But because I live that life. I fight that fight. Daily. Sometimes I win sometimes I loose. But reading it.. Reminds me I’m not alone. Someone really understands this.. It’s not just me. Thank you. Now back to chapter 1.
May 30th, 2012 at 10:03 am
Siver C – For years I made resolutions.. and never kept them. Because for me I think the year cnignahg just doesn’t seem like real reason to change a behavior. I have plenty of tasks, this year that will require RESOLVE when the time comes But I have no real resolutions based on the New Year holiday.
January 23rd, 2012 at 6:07 pm
Hi Michelle – I can’t wait to hear what you think!
I know what you mean…it feels good to be understood.
January 27th, 2012 at 9:09 am
Oh my gosh. I just read your About. It is like you are talking about me. I don’t know what to say… but wow! I am going to continue coming back for more. Oh I was diagnosed with ADD in my early 20s… that was 10+ years ago. It has been a huge struggle, but without the support of my family and friends I wouldn’t have gotten through this journey through life. Thank you again (if I forgot to thank you before) for the words of inspiration.
February 2nd, 2012 at 12:07 am
You are so welcome! Really glad you like this place, and please do come back often. You’d really like my facebook page too! It’s under Facebook – “ADHD – Tales of an Absent-Minded Superhero”.
May 30th, 2012 at 2:14 pm
Thanks, Dawn. See, that’s the thing. A person rellay doesn’t have ADD it’s not a germ or disease. It’s basically a label given to a set of behaviors such as high energy, lots of movement, interested in many things, etc that don’t fit very well in a regular classroom. In fact, the Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders lists it as a disorder, and most of the description has to do with classroom behaviors. Basically, it’s a disorder of not conforming to a classroom!
February 13th, 2012 at 8:33 am
We do have superpowers! I figured it out allready!:-)
February 15th, 2012 at 12:55 am
You got it, sister!! Then add my recent bout of 6 mTBI’s. Wahoo! That raft is really moving. Paddle on, sister!
February 15th, 2012 at 10:21 pm
LOL!!!! DON’T LOOK BACK, JUST PADDLE LIKE NOBODY’S BUSINESS!
May 30th, 2012 at 11:20 am
♥MELISSAღ – My New Year’s resolution is to start whtiacng what i eat i want to lose some weight i also want to finally get the chance to talk to the guy that i like and become friends with him .another would be to save up money and start becoming more mature than what i am now!!!
February 16th, 2012 at 2:06 am
Cant think of really anything more to say other then what everyone else already has
I was diagnosed with ADHD at a very early age and it just gets worse as I age. (I am 19 now and very nervous for college) I don’t have an insane amount in common with you like most with ADHD, but I relate completely on the “unnecessary guilt” and obsession of animals portion. I thought it was just me and I just go crazy thinking about it all the time! I despise this ‘weight of the world’ feeling I always have, and it really is a great feeling to be understood and relate to people when you’ve always thought you were so different no one could possibly ever understand. I just bought your book today and I cant wait to finish it! I live in Kansas and am hoping and excited to make it to a book signing I heard about! 
Thank you for your book, I hope you will accomplish what you have set out to do!
April 2nd, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Mercedes, thanks so much for writing!!! If you don’t take anything for your anxiety, there is a natural supplement that works GREAT! It’s called GABA. It’s inexpensive too. I think the sensitivities add to a lot of the anxiety we have going on. When I leave my house, I just can’t wait to get back home where I’M in charge of my environment. The animal and weight of the world things are killer. I think I have the MOST difficulty dealing with those pressures and they never go away. Every time I see a dead squirrel on the road, it ruins my morning. Do you know how many dead squirrels there are on the road?
XO!
February 20th, 2012 at 7:03 pm
Oh, thank God for your blog. I was morphing into my couch after recently figured it out, at the age of 41, and surfing the web, that being a gifted kid and having ADHD (diagnosed by ‘experts’ at the age of 40) meant that I’m twice exceptional. And then I looked around at my life and said “What the hell? Twice Exceptional at what? I can sign up for Mensa yet I can’t find my keys?”
All the symptoms may have been lurking, but with the onset of perimenopause, I am truly getting my a** kicked. The past three years has turned my life upside down. So thank you for having such moxy and confidence. Just reading your main page, that moxy has rubbed off on me and I’m holding my head higher.
Incidentally, in my first year back at college two years ago, after a 20 year break, I wrote a paper about being wanting to be a modern day Wonder Woman, using my empathy and assertiveness for the greater good. Maybe I knew I was a Super Hero all along. In fact, I share WW Linda Carter’s birthday.
Keep on writing to help keep us going!
Thanks,
MM or should I say WW!
April 2nd, 2012 at 2:54 pm
MM-WW,
YOU KNEW IT ALL ALONG! I love it! The hormone thing is killer for us. Normal people have bad pms, menopause, perimenopause…ours is KILLER! I just started a natural progesterone cream to see if I can put a little bit of the fire out. When our hormones fluctuate, our serotonin and dopamine levels drop…not pretty at all!!! Rock that Wonder Woman outfit!!!!!
February 20th, 2012 at 7:05 pm
Yes, Twice Exceptional and yet there was a typo in my post. Let’s try this again:
Oh, thank God for your blog. I was morphing into my couch after recently figuring out, at the age of 41, and surfing the web, that being a gifted kid and having ADHD (diagnosed by ‘experts’ at the age of 40) meant that I’m twice exceptional. And then I looked around at my life and said “What the hell? Twice Exceptional at what? I can sign up for Mensa yet I can’t find my keys?”
All the symptoms may have been lurking, but with the onset of perimenopause, I am truly getting my a** kicked. The past three years has turned my life upside down. So thank you for having such moxy and confidence. Just reading your main page, that moxy has rubbed off on me and I’m holding my head higher.
Incidentally, in my first year back at college two years ago, after a 20 year break, I wrote a paper about being wanting to be a modern day Wonder Woman, using my empathy and assertiveness for the greater good. Maybe I knew I was a Super Hero all along. In fact, I share WW Linda Carter’s birthday.
Keep on writing to help keep us going!
Thanks,
MM or should I say WW
March 4th, 2012 at 6:43 pm
Stacey,
Thank you so much for your book. I just started it today and already I am getting so much out of it. The introduction is my new manual to what it is to be me. Anyone associated with one of us should be required to read your book. When I got my diagnosis a few years back I thought someone needs to write a book about this. Daunted by the idea of what that would entail, for obvious reasons, I am so glad to find you have done just that. Wrote an irreverant yet deeply touching biography with such amazing insight, openness and accuracy.
When I got my diagnosis and began my research I found information that seems to have been highjacked by a self-help guru. Called the Da Vinci personality. Now can’t find the material referencing the original psychiatrist who came up with this theory. He was a colleague of Freud and was largely discreditied by the community when he went against Frueds theories. His theory being that it only represented a small portion of the population was also looked over. Basically it states that the things we call ADD, Aspergers etc. is a genetic mutation that is latent in a persons DNA until an event activates it. (a jarring event). Once activated it can not be unactivated. These Devinci personalites are what he consdered the people need to make change, move the world forward. People challange the norms and do what is necessary to survive.
His theory was that if you look at the fact America is largely populated by immigrants that the number of DP are far more prevalent as it requires a certain type of person to pick up sticks and move across the waters to start over in the unknown.
His theory is very intersting and helped me to find purpose in this ADD business. movers and shakers.
Thank you again!
Kim Wiltshire
April 2nd, 2012 at 2:56 pm
Kim – I know the theories you are talking about…I find them FASCINATING! Have you looked at Thom Hartmann’s Hunter Farmer theory? It’s cool too!
March 5th, 2012 at 12:58 pm
Okay I almsot finsihed your book all int he same day. If I had found it earlier in the day I would have. I just want more. As I read the end it brought tears to my eyes. I am surely going to read it gain another hundred times.
Thanks again!
Kim
March 7th, 2012 at 5:31 pm
Let’s see, I’ve forgotten to put the car in park (thus “driving” the car into the garage, left a voice mail for a friend where I truly, actually spontaneously yelled out, “oh, look, a turkey!” (she, a fellow gifted one, totally understood!), FORGOT a child from a birthday party (in my defense, the mother asked me last minute and I was worried about my kid… And I did remember after I got home, but he had already gotten a different ride home. -phew!), and frequently feel like the rest of the world got instructions i am not privy to. Oh, and I recently figured out why I don’t shop: waaaaay too much commitment. You , bless your heart, have given me a loving, laughing key to myself. Thank you!!!!
Did I remember to ad that last week i, too, managed to drive away from the has pump without disengaging the hose. Thank god, no damage…. Although I think the kid (who ran out screaming, Stop!) I hugged wondered what I had been smoking.
Again, thanks. Can’t wait for your next book! No pressure, b/c I get the hating commitment thing….( shortest job I ever held: less than 1 hour… Yikes)
April 2nd, 2012 at 2:57 pm
You can’t leave my hanging…I have GOT to know about the less than 1 hour job. That’s awesome.
March 26th, 2012 at 7:48 pm
Stacey, I read your book at the insistence of my sister who said, “It totally reminds me of you!! and it’s so funny”. Ya…I went into the deep dark upon reading it…I am used to and somewhat accepting of the “always late, always losing things, Not knowing what the hell is going on…” but the relationship deficits…still give me a lot of guilt, “Loser” stamped on my forehead moments…I do so hope you write another book…I would love to hear about getting your kids through school…That was and still is a nightmare….how many tardies…how many lost permission slips…how many library books MIA and you can’t check out another til you bring it back….and they wonder why I don’t volunteer to help out with the book fair or the carnival….they don’t know I’m doing them a favor by staying away….Thanks for the laughs, the insight, (actually I’m not thankful for all the insight I feel like you did too good of a job pointing out all my faults/gifts???…) and the the hope to carry on…..
March 27th, 2012 at 2:11 pm
With all of my own anxieties and issues I read some of these posts and want to run over and say nooooo give yourself a break you and a hug. It will get better. I swear! So I say this to everyone as much as I say this to myself. Right now I am also dealing with some life lessons.
We all have different degrees of AD(H)D. However, I do think it is really important that we realize that we are capable of finding tools to help us cope and to find what it is we excel at. We really need to stop trying to fit into the square hole. We need to give ourselves a break.
There are two things I believe we need to face and start to work with.
First is our self image. What is it we ar saying to ourselves without even thinking about it. That inner dialogue. We can change that inner dialogue, but we need to identify what we are saying to ourselves and how it feels. It happens in a split second, but it is still doable. In particular stop comparing ourselves to everyone else. No one no matter your mental capacity should be doing that.
Really it is how we feel about ourselves that counts most. We really need to stop looking to others for our self esteem and approval. This applies to everyone not just “us”. We need to be reaching for the better feeling thought. Not the best feeling thought, but the better feeling thought. Guilt has never cured anything. It only beats you down and holds you at arms length to everyone around you. I remember my dad constantly using his guilt to express his overwhelming feelings for everyone. I remember also thinking you know what knock it off already. Guilt isn’t what I need. I need to hear I am doing the best I can. I am trying. I could accept that. That would have been music to my ears. Oh and guess what we aren’t the only people out there with “issues”. We are not alone by a long shot. Ha ha.
Second is identifying which coping startegies we created, mostly likely as children, that aren’t working for us now. Through this we can build better coping strategies, that are suited to us as individuals.
I personally find Cognitive Behavioral Thearpy very helpful as it gives a neutral perspective, that looks for patterns of behavior that are detrimental, but also identifies positive coping startegies we created that need to be strengthened. It is far more hands on than traditional talk therapy where the focus is often on what is wrong. However, I thank traditional therapy for getting me started on a journey to healing. A journey I am going to be working on my whole life.
For instance I had a habit of trying to put notes everywhere, on my phone, on my fridge, post its on my computer screen, etc. etc etc. My CBT therapist finally said ok you are overwhelming yourself and eventually you will stop noticing these reminders. You need to identify what works best for you, not foolproof, and start making it a routine to look there for your reminders. It will be different for everyone.
I am about to embark on a 12 week CBT program and am lookign forward to it. Mostly because they said we are going to identify what you are good at to help you find your place in the work force as well as in life. Yippeee.
I find quantifying what I have accomplished helps to remind me I am not always falling apart. Sometimes I do good. More often than I realize.
Whatever it is that helps you cope whether it be psychologists, CBT, coaching, meditation go for it.
hang on there is a 3rd. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I tend not to because I am afraid of rejection and admiting I am incompetant. But, hangon are people not asking me for favors all the time? Yes they are. how imcompitent are they? It isn’t a sign of weakness and the people who tell you it is are well not very empathetic or probably self aware. The key is to know when you are crutching and really need help. Also I realize I have one very important issue to recognize. Overcompensation. When am I saying yes to things in a quest to compensate for what I am not good at? To prove look i can do somethings? And by doing so overwhelming myself with way too much multi-tasking?
Oh and a 4th. Learn to identify when the emotions you are tuning into are yours and when they are someone elses. take that extra moment to stop and ask yourself. Is this me or is this soemthing else I am picking up on. Not me? Then how much do I need to worry about this and to what extent. We can’t change other people but we can change the way we react. I am a firm believer in energy transference.
Everyone keeps telling me have more fun. Maybe that IS the key.
So love yourselves, you are unique and have lot of great to give.
Hugs to all,
Kim
P.S. for those of you who decided to become parents. I give you all sorts of high fives for that. I have never been able to get my head around biting the bullet. I just can’t see myself pulling it off despite 15 years of working in childcare.
May 30th, 2012 at 9:01 am
The poster is awoesme! (So well written too…I probably couldn’t explain d as well now, and I’m a writer!) I completely remember the days of exchanges, and needing to eat 3 snacks a day. I was diagnosed in the OLDEN olden days, though, before we even had blood testing (and if I’m remembering right, I think I only took one or two shots a day.) I don’t think I could’ve even imagined these CGMS/Pump days…Which makes me really look forward to the future. Who knows what we’ll have in another decade?
April 2nd, 2012 at 3:00 pm
Pat – I think there is a lot of processing that needs to be done. Who are you really? You have to figure that out. You are not the person that others have led you to believe your whole life. As a matter of fact, without any of the input, you would have probably grown up really liking yourself. I bet that will happen…as soon as you look at who you really are, you’ll fall in love with yourself all over again.
May 29th, 2012 at 6:32 pm
I second that! I lost all my baby wgheit before my son was 6 months old and was able to compete for Sitan (FTW)! I’m a workout junkie and Sitan Gym is the BEST workout I have ever done! Thiago can get anyone into the best shape of their life, they just have to be willing to shut up and work harder than they ever imagined.
March 27th, 2012 at 2:13 pm
I think I beat you al lin length. Holy cow batman
May 30th, 2012 at 11:00 am
letsmove… – I promised that I would spend more time cateirng to myself and focusing less on others. I just mainly made a promise to treat myself better and love myself more than I’ve been lately and become more in-tune with the new me!Oh and boost my 3.2 *** gpa to a 3.5.xoxo,ash
March 30th, 2012 at 9:46 pm
At the age of 55, I was finally diagnosed with Adult ADHD. Now, this isn’t news to me, I have known most of my life that something was wrong with me and that I was not normal. My son was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 7, he is now 24. When I look back on it, I wished that I had paid more attention to what ADHD was, and the syptoms, but I didn’t. I feel the same way you do. My brain fights with each side every day. I have the gifted side, that allows me to make beautiful quilts, and make professional wedding cakes, and my photography, while the other side is a fumbler, bumbling idiot who doesn’t have a clue how to carry on a simple conversation with someone because I am busy tuning them out. The more I tune them out, the harder I try to listen, it doesn’t work. I have been studying to get my license in Holistic Medicine, it has taken me 8 months and I am still on chapter 4. I read and 1 minute later I can’t tell you what I have read. So, I get depressed and angry with myself, and I walk away. I will just vegetate on the couch watching t.v., because I am at a loss of what to do. My doctor put me on this ADHD medicine “Guanfacine 1 mg. tab, Take one tablet by mouth at bedtime. I have been taking it for 8 days, and all I feel is stomach cramps, and the runs. I live with a Narcissistic husband, who knows every button to push, to keep me feeling stupid, and bumbling. I am going to get your book on my Kindle Fire and read it. So, far I love your blog, because for the most part we are on the same page. TY Star
April 2nd, 2012 at 3:03 pm
Star,
Thanks for writing. If your meds don’t end up working, you’ll have to try another one. There is nothing more frustrating than having all of that creative energy inside and a brain that just won’t let you execute it. ARGHHHHHHHHH! You’ll figure this out…just keep looking until you find something that works for you, because when it does…watch out world!
May 30th, 2012 at 1:51 pm
letsmoveon – I try not to make new year’s resolutions that I know i won’t be able to do.this year i think i’m just gonna keep it siplme but just as satisfying.1.) be a better person than I am2.) travel.3.) stay in touch with those i’ve drifted apart from.have a good new year!!!
April 2nd, 2012 at 8:31 pm
Thanks Stinkbug and Superhero for the input. I’ve experienced CBT a number of times at various stages in my life…marriage, pregnancy, divorce….My dad just died and i’m starting another hormonal change…it might be time for another round .
May 29th, 2012 at 9:54 pm
Chandra Posted on Love it! Glad I had a chance to run with you the other day! Helped me to get back on track while I was up there! Know that you keep me inpiersd!
May 30th, 2012 at 9:15 am
Sk8ter Girl – Hmmm new years resolutions are awyals funny! Alot of people make them and break them by the 3rd week.. hint hint ME! so this year I am going to STICK to my resolution. I like to please everyone else except myself, so for starters i am going to cater to myself more. I have let myself go, and it is time to get intune with myself! I am going to lose weight and save money so that I can buy me a BRAND NEW CAR! I want to improve my health and be a great mother! wish me luck!!!
April 12th, 2012 at 3:49 am
Okay so, I was almost done posting this when my computer died from low battery because I was so focused on what I was writing that I didn’t notice…if that’s not ADHD, I dunno what is. Anyway, sorry in advance for posting this in the wrong place.
Hi!! My name is Lindsey, I have ADHD, and I just got my master’s degree from Stanford!! But I’m far from a poster child ADHDer who is able to make life work (wait, didn’t you just say you got a master’s degree from Stanford? yeah, i know, just hear me out.)
Anyway…I enrolled in a year-long master’s degree and teacher credential program at Stanford. At the end of the year, I was told that I failed and had to repeat just about everything: I had 4 incompletes, I had to re-do student teaching and re-write a 70 page (single spaced) thesis-like document from scratch. I still don’t know where I found the self-confidence to spend the next 9 months re-doing all of this work. Anyway, I found out a few days ago that my incomplete’s have cleared and my master’s degree is complete!!!
I also found out that the second 70 page paper I wrote (must emphasize, FROM SCRATCH) failed again, so I will not receive a credential to teach this fall
. The worst part is, I know I know all of the information!!! It’s all there in my head, but organizing it into a 70 page document…are you kidding me??? Did they purposely design this thing to mess with people with ADHD??? No one seems to understand what I mean when I say I know the information, but I can’t pass the paper. “If you know it, why don’t you just write it down?”
Anyway, to bring by ADHD ramblings about my life to a close, I just wanted to say hi and share a bit of my story. If I have a moral at this exact moment, it is this: you know that person at your office who always has all of their stuff so organized, is really nice, and you sometimes envy when your having an especially ADHD-driven kind of day? Just remind yourself that that neat little box of a world is overrated, and that it is those of us who live outside that box that change the world. Then commit yourself to living up to doing something great, even if it takes a bit of time to get there
<3 to all, thanks for reading, and feel free to post this in a better place!
April 12th, 2012 at 9:14 am
Persistence! Amazing persistence. I am going to go practical here. Do you have anyone help you with your paper? Someone to lend a hand in the helping you see where it is going wrong, organizing etc.Writing isn’t easy for non-adhd’ers. I have helped plenty of people with their master’s in terms of their English. Also, is it possible to talk to the Dean or whom ever it would be and explain your situation and see how you might be able to get assistance in this? Being it is a teaching credential one would hope they would have some sort of insight into this and be able to assist you.
I studied in Sweden for a short while at Uni and I have to say I figured out very quickly that the way they test their students was a death sentence for me as they expect you to sit in a room for 5 hours and write your papers from memory,no books, no notes, no research material, just from memory. I found it utterly mind boggling as it was the direct opposite to what I experienced at home in the US. I can promise I failed with flying colors. As the subject wasn’t really of any use to me in the long run I decided to put my head to other things like learning Swedish.
I promise you I had to take the written test 5 times, the spoke another 5 times before finally getting my govt. condoned high school fluency equivalence certificate. Never mind I was one of the few in my class who actually did understand and could speak Swedish at any fluency at the end. The others passed on the merit of their homework and study skills. I had to find my own way of learning, that didn’t gel with my teachers idea of how to learn, plus I was just a terrible tester. Thus I was under extra scrutiny and couldn’t get by with so, so Swedish and a folder filled with rote exercises. It was after being knocked out by pnemomonia and exhausted that I finally passed when i decided to take the tests anyway as I will fail no matter what. BUt, indeed I passed. I believe because by that point I just didn’t care and was too tired to get stressed out and nervous.
Any how keep up the stubborness! It will serve you well. Especially when you run into students that need extra help. And I love your moto.
April 14th, 2012 at 1:36 am
Thanks for your reply! Unfortunately, the situation is very complicated. You’d think they’d be more understanding of learning differences (it is an education department, after all!) but they grade everyone in the state on this document and have research as to it’s effectiveness. Additionally, they continue to ask me if my ADHD interfered with my ability to write this paper would it not interfere with my ability to successfully manage the responsibilities of the classroom? Of course, I always make my case as to why they’re wrong, while secretly I internally battle the voice inside that says, “maybe they’re right.”
At any rate, when I do get in the classroom, I vow to do my very best to make sure my students don’t have to experience learning in the way you described. It’s that kind of closed-mindedness to different ways of learning that, in my opinion, keeps anyone who is different out of school because they hate it so much. Thanks for sharing your story!
April 14th, 2012 at 9:34 am
That is really unfortunate. And it really means they don’t understand much about it. Don’t let their inexperience and ignroance wear you down. Teaching is more than the testing. I know plenty of great ADDer’s who are great teachers. Very much because they know how to think outside the box and inspire their students, can find ways to adapt to them and more.
I am again telling my story when this is about you. My inention is to give you positive perspective. I worked with kids in different capacities for years and I often found that the kids with learning disability or behavioral problems gravitated towards me. The AD(H)D kids in particular. It was if they had an innate sense that I would get them. Later when I got my adult diagnosis I read that one of the things to look for was kids with AD(H)D gravitating to you. So there you go. Keep your head up they are not right! There are plenty of disasterous teachers out there without any learning problems.
In my experience most teachers try to treat all the kids (students) the same to keep order to create fairness. Which is in reality an unfair fairness as not everyone has the exact same needs and whose needs do we use as our normal measure? Remembering this from my days at school I made it my goal to keep order and still address the individual needs, whether it be adults or children. To even include the student in this thought process.
Why does he get to do that? Because today he is extra tired. Or because that is the level they are at. Oh okay that makes sense. It does huh? Speaking to children (students) with reason and not baby talk. Pretty soon they learned that those rules would apply to them and that when they were in a space that required a somewhat different plan of action they would get it for the time they needed it. To the surprise of the orthodox teaching style, they didn’t abuse it they respected it and the needs of others more. The atmosphere became more fluid and easier to manage. BUT all of that takes effort for the teacher and most people don’t have what it takes to read the student let alone to put in the extra work it takes to give the student what they need individually and still keep structure and routine. AND THIS IS WHERE YOUR ADD WILL HELP YOU. Because you will be able to see the nuances and find creative solutions others won’t!!!! You will have empathy and understanding. And you will be alot more fun. lol
So again keep going! You will make it and be the better for it. We are all rooting for you. There are so many places you will be able to find where you can use your teaching skills with or without your masters. Promise!
May 30th, 2012 at 9:29 am
Mommy 2 a Prince and Princess! – 1) Make all A+’s and be in the top 5 rank of my Freshman year [:2) Try to be nicer without being taken avedntagad of.3) Lose 10 pounds, hopefully!4) Try to be more outgoing.5) Have patience.6) Make at least $3,000 during my summer.7) Not be too judgmental even if i deny that im not. Learn to live life and not care about every little thing..9) Make new friends, but keep the one I have.10) LAST ONE. Compliment someone every dayy..
April 14th, 2012 at 5:32 pm
Stacey you are just all around awesome!!! Read the book. Loved it. I am also digging your ADHDology. My only regret is moving to KC before our freshman year of HS. Would have loved to have gotten to know you better. Keep up the good work:) All my love, Alisha
April 20th, 2012 at 1:15 pm
Just a note to say how much I truly enjoyed your book. ADD and ADHD runs in my family, and my grandson is Autistic Spectrum. I myself was initially diagnosed as borderline bipolar in the early 80′s, but was changed to ADHD about 10 years ago. To read about your experiences hit home in so many ways. You have done, in my mind, what you have set out to do, change the world, one person at a time. Just knowing that someone is out there that truly understands what its like to have what I call “a racing mind”, and put it into words someone else can understand is……….heartlifting for lack of a better word. I wish you all you strive to achieve and more. Thank you so much for the book. You have indeed touched my world.
April 28th, 2012 at 2:24 am
I just read your book, and its AMAZING!!!!!!! I was crying one minute and laughing my ass off the next. I see a lot of my 6 year old daughter and love that I think I know why she is the way she is. An amazingly funny and smart little girl. Never a dull moment here!
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July 7th, 2012 at 10:42 pm
I finished reading your book. I a 54 years old and was diagnosed as Bipolar Type 2 about 10 years ago. I have and currently being treated for Bipolar. After all these years I have tried pretty much every anti depressent made. With 4 of them sending me to the ER for allergic reactions and 5 others having adverse side effects that required stop taking them. As a last ditch effort my doctor put me on meds that are normally used for ADHD. Surprise! After the first few doses my family, friends and I see such a big difference. Focus, calmness, thinkimg clearer, and more. The doctor has now done a background that goes back to my primary years and has determined That ADHD is the core issue, I may have comorbid bipolar, but it is ADHD at the core.
For so many years I went undiagnoused and un treated, then many more years treated for the wrong thing. Now I am faced with learning how to live my life again, now with more hope. With such a paradigm shift, that is why I posted “Here I thought I finally had all my shit in one sock, then realized I was barefoot.”
I saw so much of my life in your book, I started looking for the hidden cameras. Thanks for helping understand it is ok to laugh at it yet sit work toward a better life.
Thanks nuch,
Jim
July 12th, 2012 at 6:08 pm
Hi Stacey,
I am thankful to have found you and I can’t for the life of me remember how I stumbled upon your book, and that led me here to your blog. I have struggled with ADD my entire life but never knew what my problem was until my son was diagnosed, then it was like ‘no shit sherlock you have it too…get some pills and kick some ass’. I am a half-ass writer and mother of 3; I was diagnosed at 35 and I am now 37. You give me hope that I can make my dream of writing a reality. My blog http://www.padinkydink.com has cobwebs on it, but you have ignited a fire under my ass. You have changed my life and helped me claw my way out of the dark place.
Thank you.
Lesley
July 13th, 2012 at 12:37 pm
Simply…. THANK YOU! Been in denial for years(entire life). I grew up in a teaching family and never fit in. Your point of view was something that really helped and actually made sense. Not all the articles and books that my Mom and family ever made such a difference and resented why can’t they just let me be me..
July 17th, 2012 at 4:29 am
Wow! Stumbled upon your book a few weeks ago and have been telling everyone about it. I want everyone in my life to read it, so they can finally understand me! My adult daughter was dually diagnosed as a child and through her journey/my research led me to the conclusion that I knew where she got it. She and I have debated whether we were gifted/adhd or asd and I was pleased to see your comparison page. I work with children with disabilities and have seen these similarities for years. I have talked about writing a book for years (imagine procrastination right?) and I am feeling newly inspired! Thank you!
August 19th, 2012 at 1:02 pm
Your story is a lot like mine-only way funnier! I read your book in two days and it totally resonated with me. Terrific book! I am 42 and I am finally accepting myself and my ADD that I found out I had in July. Cant thank you enough for putting your story out there for us.
August 31st, 2012 at 1:04 pm
Been a follower of your “Tails of an Absent-Minded Superhero for some time. Discovered you wrote a book, and read it last week. We’re similar, but different. Shake up the snow globe, play hockey with it, and the glitter falls in different patterns.
September 12th, 2012 at 8:40 pm
Just read the excerpt…entertaining…insightful…and relatable. I hope the book is a great success!
September 20th, 2012 at 2:25 am
Just finished the book. I laughed my head off. I cried a bit too. My husband has ADD, a jack of all trades he is. Your experiences are very similar and I lived the last 20 years with him. I don’t know how. But surprisingly enough, I have had some of the same experiences. But I’m OCD not ADD. By the way, I just cut my finger on broken glass in the carpet. I’m pretty sure he broke something and forgot to vacuum and tell me about it. Very deep cut. Debating on whether I tell him about it or forget it. He’ll have the opposite reaction than most people would expect, of course. He will kick himself with words (similar to your colorful language) and i will forget i was the one who was cut. And if im not careful, by the end of the night, I will be apologizing to him.
September 21st, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Please remove me from your emails, all of them thank you.
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October 8th, 2012 at 11:48 am
Thank you for bringing such comedy, light and wisdom to a topic cast into a negative light for 35 years of my life…and I’m only 37!! I admire your commitment to finishing your book as I have over 20 journals compiled and at least 3 books “I’m working on.” What’s awesome is I began reading your book to help
me better understand my young daughter who is gifted and ADHD. However, I gained more understanding and acceptance of myself…which will benefit her greatly as well.
I wrote a poem in college called “misunderstood” I would love to share with you somehow. You are the only person I have ever heard of who’s life sounds as full of events as mine has been!!!!
January 30th, 2013 at 11:27 pm
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February 2nd, 2013 at 6:17 pm
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February 1st, 2013 at 1:43 am
Hi, Stacey! Just bought your book this afternoon and really looking forward to reading it.
I am 63 years old and was just diagnosed with ADHD (with a “side order” of OCD) last April. Now I know why my life is so screwed up! It’s a new world for me; I have spent 60 years trying to be more like my brother & sister (both are “normal” and successful). And I beat myself up every day for not being like them. My counselor says I need to learn to accept myself as I am & stop trying to fit my round self in a square hole. There’s no support group near me so I’m happy to find people like you who are willing to put yourself out there, helping people like me. Thank you!