A Big Welcome

Hello, and welcome to the wacky, cracky world of adult AD(H)D!

My name is Stacey, and I’m “twice-exceptional”.  YES!  Sounds fabulous, doesn’t it?  I mean, not only am I exceptional, I’m twice-exceptional!  Don’t hurt yourself congratulating me.  What it really means is that I have Attention Deficit Disorder and I’m also considered “gifted”…it’s called twice-exceptional, because half of my brain is capable of astonishing mental feats, while the other half can’t even bother to lift its leg when it farts, which for the most part, isn’t very productive if you ask me.  Yeah…try using that thing to navigate through life!  It’s a mess.

A person can be twice-exceptional in different areas, but I was blessed with the above.  Unfortunately, I don’t play a musical instrument, I don’t sing like a canary, nor do I ever stop mid-sentence and begin writing math equations on the nearest window.  As a matter of fact, there is not one certain, outstanding thing I can claim to be gifted in…I’m the proverbial Jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none.  All the guts and none of the glory.  None of the sugar and all of the shit.  You catch my drift…

Though living as an adult (and kid for that matter) with AD(H)D, is a giant cluster-bomb of a life, I wouldn’t trade my superhero powers for anything.  You didn’t know AD(H)D gave us superpowers?  HOLY COW!  What took you so long to get here?  Beating yourself up for your deficits is so yesterday!  The future is all about self-acceptance and using the gifts we were given to change the world.

You’ll read ALL about that in my book, “Here’s to Not Catching Our Hair on Fire“, but until then, poke around in here to get your spandex superhero suit ironed-up!  I suggest you start by reading the post, “Drinking River Water” to prepare for the new, organic version of you and your adventure-filled life!

Love and laughs,

Stacey Turis

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149 responses to “A Big Welcome

  • Pye

    Hi Stacey, I was recently diagnosed with adult ADHD. It really explains so much. After talking to my friend Dana,she told me you had a book coming out. I am looking forward to reading it in January. Congrats and I too am twice-exceptional!

    • Jenn F

      I just wanted to say thank you! It’s been quite a journey being “twice exceptional” and after reading your blog for the first time in 42 years, someone gets it! So, thank you!

  • adhdsuperhero

    Nice to meet you! So glad you were finally diagnosed…it’s so much better when you find out that you’re entire being of weirdness can be explained with one thing! :) Make sure you join in the Facebook discussion…you’ll learn so much. I have for sure! Cheers!

    https://www.facebook.com/pages/ADHD-Tales-of-an-Absent-Minded-Superhero/172333959478658

  • Kimberly D Meyer Jackson

    Hi Stacey. I clicked on your like link a few weeks a ago and finally got around to reading your blog tonight. Doctors discovered my AD/HD back when they first started throwing those initals out in the seventies. I was given meds as a child and few rein as an adult (Lord help those around me!) Thank you for writing such a wonderful blog. It’s nice knowing that one isn’t alone in all this.

  • Angela

    I am a 47 yr old woman who was just recently diagnosed about 2 1/2 yrs ago……and yes…it explains so much for me…my wonderful husband says there is nothing wrong with me, that I am perfect! Even though I am chronically late (one of my husbands pet peeves…and we’ve been married for 25 yrs!) My youngest son was also diagnosed at the same time….we both tried meds for about the 1st 1 1/2 yrs, but decided to learn to work with our given abilities and…well to be honest..I’m taking college courses and I’m having to train myself to focus and get my butt in gear…..so looking forward to your book…I’ve really enjoyed your postings on Facebook, since I found you….you have made me laugh at things you describe and that I have totally done…and will prob continue to do!~

  • adhdsuperhero

    Thanks Angela! :) I’m happy that you like the page. You scored a jackpot with your husband! Mine is the same way, and I can’t imagine not having his support. Good luck with the classes…that’s tough, and I often wonder how I ever got through college un-medicated, but I did, and you can too. Of course, if you ever find yourself really having issues with focus, procrastination, etc. it wouldn’t be terrible to take something. When I really have to focus (like sitting down and writing) I take 5 mg of Ritalin. It doesn’t make me feel weird or shaky and gives me just enough to get over those humps (though not enough to take care of it completely so you still have to push yourself…just not as hard). Keep us posted! Go! Go! Go!

  • Marina

    Hi !
    I’m just like you, a superantihero :) Not really a hero because I blunder too much. But I like being an antihero, I don’t like being conventional, and a hero is meant to be different. And we are, but we aren’t perfect (we’d be soooo booooring if we were perfect). We’re just magic :)
    Well, that’s so hard for me to remain F-O-C-U-S-E-D. I’m always disturbed by ADHD, my hyper neurone who chose MY brain to live in. Still, I’m friendly so I welcomed him (I didn’t have the choice but I’m quite accommodating). I also know Prock Rastination, another brainmate….
    After my neurones’s introduction and after having just killed that bloody midge that ended its life on my computer screen (bloody, also literary), I’d like to know if your book will be available in France.
    Thanks !!

  • Marina

    ADHD isn’t sleeping yet (dunno for you, but here in France it’s night time – I start to be a catastrophe when I meet a number). He made me misspell the address of my website :D Old devil ! ! !
    For now, no mistake, I can post.
    Have a nice day, and keep on being the superantihero you are :)

  • adhdsuperhero

    Marina, I thoroughly enjoyed your comments! :) I will definitely keep on being the superanithero! :) XO

  • Trevor Cornette

    Stacey, I look forward to reading your book. Now don’t go big time on us and forget the little people that enjoyed your company during the high school days!! Congratulations on your success.. See you will be signing books in Wichita in March, I may just have to get your autograph!!

  • Michelle.. (Fellow shiny chicken)

    I am three quarters through the first chapter. A big feat for me, as I actually have to stop everything else im doing to read. Any way… In tears… Not cause its sad.. But because I live that life. I fight that fight. Daily. Sometimes I win sometimes I loose. But reading it.. Reminds me I’m not alone. Someone really understands this.. It’s not just me. Thank you. Now back to chapter 1. :)

    • Sam

      Siver C – For years I made resolutions.. and never kept them. Because for me I think the year cnignahg just doesn’t seem like real reason to change a behavior. I have plenty of tasks, this year that will require RESOLVE when the time comes But I have no real resolutions based on the New Year holiday.

    • Pauline A. Finn

      Michelle, I know what you mean! I just found this site tonight and smiling ear to ear! We are not alone ! Isn’t it great?!

  • adhdsuperhero

    Hi Michelle – I can’t wait to hear what you think! :) I know what you mean…it feels good to be understood.

  • molly98

    Oh my gosh. I just read your About. It is like you are talking about me. I don’t know what to say… but wow! I am going to continue coming back for more. Oh I was diagnosed with ADD in my early 20s… that was 10+ years ago. It has been a huge struggle, but without the support of my family and friends I wouldn’t have gotten through this journey through life. Thank you again (if I forgot to thank you before) for the words of inspiration.

    • adhdsuperhero

      You are so welcome! Really glad you like this place, and please do come back often. You’d really like my facebook page too! It’s under Facebook – “ADHD – Tales of an Absent-Minded Superhero”.

      • Viktoria

        Thanks, Dawn. See, that’s the thing. A person rellay doesn’t have ADD it’s not a germ or disease. It’s basically a label given to a set of behaviors such as high energy, lots of movement, interested in many things, etc that don’t fit very well in a regular classroom. In fact, the Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders lists it as a disorder, and most of the description has to do with classroom behaviors. Basically, it’s a disorder of not conforming to a classroom!

  • Korneel

    We do have superpowers! I figured it out allready!:-)

  • Kali Plumet

    You got it, sister!! Then add my recent bout of 6 mTBI’s. Wahoo! That raft is really moving. Paddle on, sister!

    • adhdsuperhero

      LOL!!!! DON’T LOOK BACK, JUST PADDLE LIKE NOBODY’S BUSINESS! :)

    • Hamed

      ♥MELISSAღ – My New Year’s resolution is to start whtiacng what i eat i want to lose some weight i also want to finally get the chance to talk to the guy that i like and become friends with him .another would be to save up money and start becoming more mature than what i am now!!!

  • Mercedes M

    Cant think of really anything more to say other then what everyone else already has :D I was diagnosed with ADHD at a very early age and it just gets worse as I age. (I am 19 now and very nervous for college) I don’t have an insane amount in common with you like most with ADHD, but I relate completely on the “unnecessary guilt” and obsession of animals portion. I thought it was just me and I just go crazy thinking about it all the time! I despise this ‘weight of the world’ feeling I always have, and it really is a great feeling to be understood and relate to people when you’ve always thought you were so different no one could possibly ever understand. I just bought your book today and I cant wait to finish it! I live in Kansas and am hoping and excited to make it to a book signing I heard about! :D Thank you for your book, I hope you will accomplish what you have set out to do!

    • adhdsuperhero

      Mercedes, thanks so much for writing!!! If you don’t take anything for your anxiety, there is a natural supplement that works GREAT! It’s called GABA. It’s inexpensive too. I think the sensitivities add to a lot of the anxiety we have going on. When I leave my house, I just can’t wait to get back home where I’M in charge of my environment. The animal and weight of the world things are killer. I think I have the MOST difficulty dealing with those pressures and they never go away. Every time I see a dead squirrel on the road, it ruins my morning. Do you know how many dead squirrels there are on the road? :) XO!

      • Pauline A. Finn

        I so have to get this book! I’m on the verge of tears! So many of the things I’ve read so far are MY “things” too!!! I want my whole family to read this book! Ohhhhhhh,the thing about home being where I rule!, it’s like you are in my head! WOW!!

  • MM-WW

    Oh, thank God for your blog. I was morphing into my couch after recently figured it out, at the age of 41, and surfing the web, that being a gifted kid and having ADHD (diagnosed by ‘experts’ at the age of 40) meant that I’m twice exceptional. And then I looked around at my life and said “What the hell? Twice Exceptional at what? I can sign up for Mensa yet I can’t find my keys?”

    All the symptoms may have been lurking, but with the onset of perimenopause, I am truly getting my a** kicked. The past three years has turned my life upside down. So thank you for having such moxy and confidence. Just reading your main page, that moxy has rubbed off on me and I’m holding my head higher.

    Incidentally, in my first year back at college two years ago, after a 20 year break, I wrote a paper about being wanting to be a modern day Wonder Woman, using my empathy and assertiveness for the greater good. Maybe I knew I was a Super Hero all along. In fact, I share WW Linda Carter’s birthday.

    Keep on writing to help keep us going!

    Thanks,
    MM or should I say WW!

    • adhdsuperhero

      MM-WW,

      YOU KNEW IT ALL ALONG! I love it! The hormone thing is killer for us. Normal people have bad pms, menopause, perimenopause…ours is KILLER! I just started a natural progesterone cream to see if I can put a little bit of the fire out. When our hormones fluctuate, our serotonin and dopamine levels drop…not pretty at all!!! Rock that Wonder Woman outfit!!!!!

  • MM-WW

    Yes, Twice Exceptional and yet there was a typo in my post. Let’s try this again:

    Oh, thank God for your blog. I was morphing into my couch after recently figuring out, at the age of 41, and surfing the web, that being a gifted kid and having ADHD (diagnosed by ‘experts’ at the age of 40) meant that I’m twice exceptional. And then I looked around at my life and said “What the hell? Twice Exceptional at what? I can sign up for Mensa yet I can’t find my keys?”

    All the symptoms may have been lurking, but with the onset of perimenopause, I am truly getting my a** kicked. The past three years has turned my life upside down. So thank you for having such moxy and confidence. Just reading your main page, that moxy has rubbed off on me and I’m holding my head higher.

    Incidentally, in my first year back at college two years ago, after a 20 year break, I wrote a paper about being wanting to be a modern day Wonder Woman, using my empathy and assertiveness for the greater good. Maybe I knew I was a Super Hero all along. In fact, I share WW Linda Carter’s birthday.

    Keep on writing to help keep us going!

    Thanks,
    MM or should I say WW

  • stinkbugprod

    Stacey,

    Thank you so much for your book. I just started it today and already I am getting so much out of it. The introduction is my new manual to what it is to be me. Anyone associated with one of us should be required to read your book. When I got my diagnosis a few years back I thought someone needs to write a book about this. Daunted by the idea of what that would entail, for obvious reasons, I am so glad to find you have done just that. Wrote an irreverant yet deeply touching biography with such amazing insight, openness and accuracy.

    When I got my diagnosis and began my research I found information that seems to have been highjacked by a self-help guru. Called the Da Vinci personality. Now can’t find the material referencing the original psychiatrist who came up with this theory. He was a colleague of Freud and was largely discreditied by the community when he went against Frueds theories. His theory being that it only represented a small portion of the population was also looked over. Basically it states that the things we call ADD, Aspergers etc. is a genetic mutation that is latent in a persons DNA until an event activates it. (a jarring event). Once activated it can not be unactivated. These Devinci personalites are what he consdered the people need to make change, move the world forward. People challange the norms and do what is necessary to survive.

    His theory was that if you look at the fact America is largely populated by immigrants that the number of DP are far more prevalent as it requires a certain type of person to pick up sticks and move across the waters to start over in the unknown.

    His theory is very intersting and helped me to find purpose in this ADD business. movers and shakers.

    Thank you again!

    Kim Wiltshire

  • stinkbugprod

    Okay I almsot finsihed your book all int he same day. If I had found it earlier in the day I would have. I just want more. As I read the end it brought tears to my eyes. I am surely going to read it gain another hundred times.

    Thanks again!

    Kim

  • Tobey Chier

    Let’s see, I’ve forgotten to put the car in park (thus “driving” the car into the garage, left a voice mail for a friend where I truly, actually spontaneously yelled out, “oh, look, a turkey!” (she, a fellow gifted one, totally understood!), FORGOT a child from a birthday party (in my defense, the mother asked me last minute and I was worried about my kid… And I did remember after I got home, but he had already gotten a different ride home. -phew!), and frequently feel like the rest of the world got instructions i am not privy to. Oh, and I recently figured out why I don’t shop: waaaaay too much commitment. You , bless your heart, have given me a loving, laughing key to myself. Thank you!!!!

    Did I remember to ad that last week i, too, managed to drive away from the has pump without disengaging the hose. Thank god, no damage…. Although I think the kid (who ran out screaming, Stop!) I hugged wondered what I had been smoking.

    Again, thanks. Can’t wait for your next book! No pressure, b/c I get the hating commitment thing….( shortest job I ever held: less than 1 hour… Yikes)

  • Pat Clark

    Stacey, I read your book at the insistence of my sister who said, “It totally reminds me of you!! and it’s so funny”. Ya…I went into the deep dark upon reading it…I am used to and somewhat accepting of the “always late, always losing things, Not knowing what the hell is going on…” but the relationship deficits…still give me a lot of guilt, “Loser” stamped on my forehead moments…I do so hope you write another book…I would love to hear about getting your kids through school…That was and still is a nightmare….how many tardies…how many lost permission slips…how many library books MIA and you can’t check out another til you bring it back….and they wonder why I don’t volunteer to help out with the book fair or the carnival….they don’t know I’m doing them a favor by staying away….Thanks for the laughs, the insight, (actually I’m not thankful for all the insight I feel like you did too good of a job pointing out all my faults/gifts???…) and the the hope to carry on…..

    • stinkbugprod

      With all of my own anxieties and issues I read some of these posts and want to run over and say nooooo give yourself a break you and a hug. It will get better. I swear! So I say this to everyone as much as I say this to myself. Right now I am also dealing with some life lessons.

      We all have different degrees of AD(H)D. However, I do think it is really important that we realize that we are capable of finding tools to help us cope and to find what it is we excel at. We really need to stop trying to fit into the square hole. We need to give ourselves a break.

      There are two things I believe we need to face and start to work with.

      First is our self image. What is it we ar saying to ourselves without even thinking about it. That inner dialogue. We can change that inner dialogue, but we need to identify what we are saying to ourselves and how it feels. It happens in a split second, but it is still doable. In particular stop comparing ourselves to everyone else. No one no matter your mental capacity should be doing that.

      Really it is how we feel about ourselves that counts most. We really need to stop looking to others for our self esteem and approval. This applies to everyone not just “us”. We need to be reaching for the better feeling thought. Not the best feeling thought, but the better feeling thought. Guilt has never cured anything. It only beats you down and holds you at arms length to everyone around you. I remember my dad constantly using his guilt to express his overwhelming feelings for everyone. I remember also thinking you know what knock it off already. Guilt isn’t what I need. I need to hear I am doing the best I can. I am trying. I could accept that. That would have been music to my ears. Oh and guess what we aren’t the only people out there with “issues”. We are not alone by a long shot. Ha ha.

      Second is identifying which coping startegies we created, mostly likely as children, that aren’t working for us now. Through this we can build better coping strategies, that are suited to us as individuals.

      I personally find Cognitive Behavioral Thearpy very helpful as it gives a neutral perspective, that looks for patterns of behavior that are detrimental, but also identifies positive coping startegies we created that need to be strengthened. It is far more hands on than traditional talk therapy where the focus is often on what is wrong. However, I thank traditional therapy for getting me started on a journey to healing. A journey I am going to be working on my whole life.

      For instance I had a habit of trying to put notes everywhere, on my phone, on my fridge, post its on my computer screen, etc. etc etc. My CBT therapist finally said ok you are overwhelming yourself and eventually you will stop noticing these reminders. You need to identify what works best for you, not foolproof, and start making it a routine to look there for your reminders. It will be different for everyone.

      I am about to embark on a 12 week CBT program and am lookign forward to it. Mostly because they said we are going to identify what you are good at to help you find your place in the work force as well as in life. Yippeee.

      I find quantifying what I have accomplished helps to remind me I am not always falling apart. Sometimes I do good. More often than I realize.

      Whatever it is that helps you cope whether it be psychologists, CBT, coaching, meditation go for it.

      hang on there is a 3rd. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I tend not to because I am afraid of rejection and admiting I am incompetant. But, hangon are people not asking me for favors all the time? Yes they are. how imcompitent are they? It isn’t a sign of weakness and the people who tell you it is are well not very empathetic or probably self aware. The key is to know when you are crutching and really need help. Also I realize I have one very important issue to recognize. Overcompensation. When am I saying yes to things in a quest to compensate for what I am not good at? To prove look i can do somethings? And by doing so overwhelming myself with way too much multi-tasking?

      Oh and a 4th. Learn to identify when the emotions you are tuning into are yours and when they are someone elses. take that extra moment to stop and ask yourself. Is this me or is this soemthing else I am picking up on. Not me? Then how much do I need to worry about this and to what extent. We can’t change other people but we can change the way we react. I am a firm believer in energy transference.

      Everyone keeps telling me have more fun. Maybe that IS the key.

      So love yourselves, you are unique and have lot of great to give.

      Hugs to all,
      Kim

      P.S. for those of you who decided to become parents. I give you all sorts of high fives for that. I have never been able to get my head around biting the bullet. I just can’t see myself pulling it off despite 15 years of working in childcare.

      • Alejandro

        The poster is awoesme! (So well written too…I probably couldn’t explain d as well now, and I’m a writer!) I completely remember the days of exchanges, and needing to eat 3 snacks a day. I was diagnosed in the OLDEN olden days, though, before we even had blood testing (and if I’m remembering right, I think I only took one or two shots a day.) I don’t think I could’ve even imagined these CGMS/Pump days…Which makes me really look forward to the future. Who knows what we’ll have in another decade?

    • adhdsuperhero

      Pat – I think there is a lot of processing that needs to be done. Who are you really? You have to figure that out. You are not the person that others have led you to believe your whole life. As a matter of fact, without any of the input, you would have probably grown up really liking yourself. I bet that will happen…as soon as you look at who you really are, you’ll fall in love with yourself all over again. ;)

      • Asha

        I second that! I lost all my baby wgheit before my son was 6 months old and was able to compete for Sitan (FTW)! I’m a workout junkie and Sitan Gym is the BEST workout I have ever done! Thiago can get anyone into the best shape of their life, they just have to be willing to shut up and work harder than they ever imagined.

  • stinkbugprod

    I think I beat you al lin length. Holy cow batman

    • Toshihiko

      letsmove… – I promised that I would spend more time cateirng to myself and focusing less on others. I just mainly made a promise to treat myself better and love myself more than I’ve been lately and become more in-tune with the new me!Oh and boost my 3.2 *** gpa to a 3.5.xoxo,ash

  • Starla

    At the age of 55, I was finally diagnosed with Adult ADHD. Now, this isn’t news to me, I have known most of my life that something was wrong with me and that I was not normal. My son was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 7, he is now 24. When I look back on it, I wished that I had paid more attention to what ADHD was, and the syptoms, but I didn’t. I feel the same way you do. My brain fights with each side every day. I have the gifted side, that allows me to make beautiful quilts, and make professional wedding cakes, and my photography, while the other side is a fumbler, bumbling idiot who doesn’t have a clue how to carry on a simple conversation with someone because I am busy tuning them out. The more I tune them out, the harder I try to listen, it doesn’t work. I have been studying to get my license in Holistic Medicine, it has taken me 8 months and I am still on chapter 4. I read and 1 minute later I can’t tell you what I have read. So, I get depressed and angry with myself, and I walk away. I will just vegetate on the couch watching t.v., because I am at a loss of what to do. My doctor put me on this ADHD medicine “Guanfacine 1 mg. tab, Take one tablet by mouth at bedtime. I have been taking it for 8 days, and all I feel is stomach cramps, and the runs. I live with a Narcissistic husband, who knows every button to push, to keep me feeling stupid, and bumbling. I am going to get your book on my Kindle Fire and read it. So, far I love your blog, because for the most part we are on the same page. TY Star

    • adhdsuperhero

      Star,

      Thanks for writing. If your meds don’t end up working, you’ll have to try another one. There is nothing more frustrating than having all of that creative energy inside and a brain that just won’t let you execute it. ARGHHHHHHHHH! You’ll figure this out…just keep looking until you find something that works for you, because when it does…watch out world!

      • Valda

        letsmoveon – I try not to make new year’s resolutions that I know i won’t be able to do.this year i think i’m just gonna keep it siplme but just as satisfying.1.) be a better person than I am2.) travel.3.) stay in touch with those i’ve drifted apart from.have a good new year!!!

  • Pat

    Thanks Stinkbug and Superhero for the input. I’ve experienced CBT a number of times at various stages in my life…marriage, pregnancy, divorce….My dad just died and i’m starting another hormonal change…it might be time for another round .

    • Amr

      Chandra Posted on Love it! Glad I had a chance to run with you the other day! Helped me to get back on track while I was up there! Know that you keep me inpiersd!

    • Fatima

      Sk8ter Girl – Hmmm new years resolutions are awyals funny! Alot of people make them and break them by the 3rd week.. hint hint ME! so this year I am going to STICK to my resolution. I like to please everyone else except myself, so for starters i am going to cater to myself more. I have let myself go, and it is time to get intune with myself! I am going to lose weight and save money so that I can buy me a BRAND NEW CAR! I want to improve my health and be a great mother! wish me luck!!!

  • redsky343

    Okay so, I was almost done posting this when my computer died from low battery because I was so focused on what I was writing that I didn’t notice…if that’s not ADHD, I dunno what is. Anyway, sorry in advance for posting this in the wrong place.

    Hi!! My name is Lindsey, I have ADHD, and I just got my master’s degree from Stanford!! But I’m far from a poster child ADHDer who is able to make life work (wait, didn’t you just say you got a master’s degree from Stanford? yeah, i know, just hear me out.)

    Anyway…I enrolled in a year-long master’s degree and teacher credential program at Stanford. At the end of the year, I was told that I failed and had to repeat just about everything: I had 4 incompletes, I had to re-do student teaching and re-write a 70 page (single spaced) thesis-like document from scratch. I still don’t know where I found the self-confidence to spend the next 9 months re-doing all of this work. Anyway, I found out a few days ago that my incomplete’s have cleared and my master’s degree is complete!!!

    I also found out that the second 70 page paper I wrote (must emphasize, FROM SCRATCH) failed again, so I will not receive a credential to teach this fall :-(. The worst part is, I know I know all of the information!!! It’s all there in my head, but organizing it into a 70 page document…are you kidding me??? Did they purposely design this thing to mess with people with ADHD??? No one seems to understand what I mean when I say I know the information, but I can’t pass the paper. “If you know it, why don’t you just write it down?”

    Anyway, to bring by ADHD ramblings about my life to a close, I just wanted to say hi and share a bit of my story. If I have a moral at this exact moment, it is this: you know that person at your office who always has all of their stuff so organized, is really nice, and you sometimes envy when your having an especially ADHD-driven kind of day? Just remind yourself that that neat little box of a world is overrated, and that it is those of us who live outside that box that change the world. Then commit yourself to living up to doing something great, even if it takes a bit of time to get there :-)
    <3 to all, thanks for reading, and feel free to post this in a better place!

    • Kimberly Wiltshire

      Persistence! Amazing persistence. I am going to go practical here. Do you have anyone help you with your paper? Someone to lend a hand in the helping you see where it is going wrong, organizing etc.Writing isn’t easy for non-adhd’ers. I have helped plenty of people with their master’s in terms of their English. Also, is it possible to talk to the Dean or whom ever it would be and explain your situation and see how you might be able to get assistance in this? Being it is a teaching credential one would hope they would have some sort of insight into this and be able to assist you.

      I studied in Sweden for a short while at Uni and I have to say I figured out very quickly that the way they test their students was a death sentence for me as they expect you to sit in a room for 5 hours and write your papers from memory,no books, no notes, no research material, just from memory. I found it utterly mind boggling as it was the direct opposite to what I experienced at home in the US. I can promise I failed with flying colors. As the subject wasn’t really of any use to me in the long run I decided to put my head to other things like learning Swedish.

      I promise you I had to take the written test 5 times, the spoke another 5 times before finally getting my govt. condoned high school fluency equivalence certificate. Never mind I was one of the few in my class who actually did understand and could speak Swedish at any fluency at the end. The others passed on the merit of their homework and study skills. I had to find my own way of learning, that didn’t gel with my teachers idea of how to learn, plus I was just a terrible tester. Thus I was under extra scrutiny and couldn’t get by with so, so Swedish and a folder filled with rote exercises. It was after being knocked out by pnemomonia and exhausted that I finally passed when i decided to take the tests anyway as I will fail no matter what. BUt, indeed I passed. I believe because by that point I just didn’t care and was too tired to get stressed out and nervous.

      Any how keep up the stubborness! It will serve you well. Especially when you run into students that need extra help. And I love your moto.

      • redsky343

        Thanks for your reply! Unfortunately, the situation is very complicated. You’d think they’d be more understanding of learning differences (it is an education department, after all!) but they grade everyone in the state on this document and have research as to it’s effectiveness. Additionally, they continue to ask me if my ADHD interfered with my ability to write this paper would it not interfere with my ability to successfully manage the responsibilities of the classroom? Of course, I always make my case as to why they’re wrong, while secretly I internally battle the voice inside that says, “maybe they’re right.”

        At any rate, when I do get in the classroom, I vow to do my very best to make sure my students don’t have to experience learning in the way you described. It’s that kind of closed-mindedness to different ways of learning that, in my opinion, keeps anyone who is different out of school because they hate it so much. Thanks for sharing your story!

  • Kimberly Wiltshire

    That is really unfortunate. And it really means they don’t understand much about it. Don’t let their inexperience and ignroance wear you down. Teaching is more than the testing. I know plenty of great ADDer’s who are great teachers. Very much because they know how to think outside the box and inspire their students, can find ways to adapt to them and more.

    I am again telling my story when this is about you. My inention is to give you positive perspective. I worked with kids in different capacities for years and I often found that the kids with learning disability or behavioral problems gravitated towards me. The AD(H)D kids in particular. It was if they had an innate sense that I would get them. Later when I got my adult diagnosis I read that one of the things to look for was kids with AD(H)D gravitating to you. So there you go. Keep your head up they are not right! There are plenty of disasterous teachers out there without any learning problems.

    In my experience most teachers try to treat all the kids (students) the same to keep order to create fairness. Which is in reality an unfair fairness as not everyone has the exact same needs and whose needs do we use as our normal measure? Remembering this from my days at school I made it my goal to keep order and still address the individual needs, whether it be adults or children. To even include the student in this thought process.

    Why does he get to do that? Because today he is extra tired. Or because that is the level they are at. Oh okay that makes sense. It does huh? Speaking to children (students) with reason and not baby talk. Pretty soon they learned that those rules would apply to them and that when they were in a space that required a somewhat different plan of action they would get it for the time they needed it. To the surprise of the orthodox teaching style, they didn’t abuse it they respected it and the needs of others more. The atmosphere became more fluid and easier to manage. BUT all of that takes effort for the teacher and most people don’t have what it takes to read the student let alone to put in the extra work it takes to give the student what they need individually and still keep structure and routine. AND THIS IS WHERE YOUR ADD WILL HELP YOU. Because you will be able to see the nuances and find creative solutions others won’t!!!! You will have empathy and understanding. And you will be alot more fun. lol

    So again keep going! You will make it and be the better for it. We are all rooting for you. There are so many places you will be able to find where you can use your teaching skills with or without your masters. Promise!

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  • Alisha Davis

    Stacey you are just all around awesome!!! Read the book. Loved it. I am also digging your ADHDology. My only regret is moving to KC before our freshman year of HS. Would have loved to have gotten to know you better. Keep up the good work:) All my love, Alisha

  • Lisa Spencer

    Just a note to say how much I truly enjoyed your book. ADD and ADHD runs in my family, and my grandson is Autistic Spectrum. I myself was initially diagnosed as borderline bipolar in the early 80′s, but was changed to ADHD about 10 years ago. To read about your experiences hit home in so many ways. You have done, in my mind, what you have set out to do, change the world, one person at a time. Just knowing that someone is out there that truly understands what its like to have what I call “a racing mind”, and put it into words someone else can understand is……….heartlifting for lack of a better word. I wish you all you strive to achieve and more. Thank you so much for the book. You have indeed touched my world.

  • sabrina

    I just read your book, and its AMAZING!!!!!!! I was crying one minute and laughing my ass off the next. I see a lot of my 6 year old daughter and love that I think I know why she is the way she is. An amazingly funny and smart little girl. Never a dull moment here!

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  • Jim Vogel

    I finished reading your book. I a 54 years old and was diagnosed as Bipolar Type 2 about 10 years ago. I have and currently being treated for Bipolar. After all these years I have tried pretty much every anti depressent made. With 4 of them sending me to the ER for allergic reactions and 5 others having adverse side effects that required stop taking them. As a last ditch effort my doctor put me on meds that are normally used for ADHD. Surprise! After the first few doses my family, friends and I see such a big difference. Focus, calmness, thinkimg clearer, and more. The doctor has now done a background that goes back to my primary years and has determined That ADHD is the core issue, I may have comorbid bipolar, but it is ADHD at the core.

    For so many years I went undiagnoused and un treated, then many more years treated for the wrong thing. Now I am faced with learning how to live my life again, now with more hope. With such a paradigm shift, that is why I posted “Here I thought I finally had all my shit in one sock, then realized I was barefoot.”

    I saw so much of my life in your book, I started looking for the hidden cameras. Thanks for helping understand it is ok to laugh at it yet sit work toward a better life.

    Thanks nuch,
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  • padinkydink

    Hi Stacey,
    I am thankful to have found you and I can’t for the life of me remember how I stumbled upon your book, and that led me here to your blog. I have struggled with ADD my entire life but never knew what my problem was until my son was diagnosed, then it was like ‘no shit sherlock you have it too…get some pills and kick some ass’. I am a half-ass writer and mother of 3; I was diagnosed at 35 and I am now 37. You give me hope that I can make my dream of writing a reality. My blog http://www.padinkydink.com has cobwebs on it, but you have ignited a fire under my ass. You have changed my life and helped me claw my way out of the dark place.
    Thank you.
    Lesley

  • Carri

    Simply…. THANK YOU! Been in denial for years(entire life). I grew up in a teaching family and never fit in. Your point of view was something that really helped and actually made sense. Not all the articles and books that my Mom and family ever made such a difference and resented why can’t they just let me be me..

  • Angela

    Wow! Stumbled upon your book a few weeks ago and have been telling everyone about it. I want everyone in my life to read it, so they can finally understand me! My adult daughter was dually diagnosed as a child and through her journey/my research led me to the conclusion that I knew where she got it. She and I have debated whether we were gifted/adhd or asd and I was pleased to see your comparison page. I work with children with disabilities and have seen these similarities for years. I have talked about writing a book for years (imagine procrastination right?) and I am feeling newly inspired! Thank you!

  • Julie T. Eckroth

    Your story is a lot like mine-only way funnier! I read your book in two days and it totally resonated with me. Terrific book! I am 42 and I am finally accepting myself and my ADD that I found out I had in July. Cant thank you enough for putting your story out there for us.

  • Jeffrey Brown

    Been a follower of your “Tails of an Absent-Minded Superhero for some time. Discovered you wrote a book, and read it last week. We’re similar, but different. Shake up the snow globe, play hockey with it, and the glitter falls in different patterns.

  • marlee

    Just read the excerpt…entertaining…insightful…and relatable. I hope the book is a great success!

  • Lynn Lundy

    Just finished the book. I laughed my head off. I cried a bit too. My husband has ADD, a jack of all trades he is. Your experiences are very similar and I lived the last 20 years with him. I don’t know how. But surprisingly enough, I have had some of the same experiences. But I’m OCD not ADD. By the way, I just cut my finger on broken glass in the carpet. I’m pretty sure he broke something and forgot to vacuum and tell me about it. Very deep cut. Debating on whether I tell him about it or forget it. He’ll have the opposite reaction than most people would expect, of course. He will kick himself with words (similar to your colorful language) and i will forget i was the one who was cut. And if im not careful, by the end of the night, I will be apologizing to him.

  • Amber Turnbow

    Thank you for bringing such comedy, light and wisdom to a topic cast into a negative light for 35 years of my life…and I’m only 37!! I admire your commitment to finishing your book as I have over 20 journals compiled and at least 3 books “I’m working on.” What’s awesome is I began reading your book to help
    me better understand my young daughter who is gifted and ADHD. However, I gained more understanding and acceptance of myself…which will benefit her greatly as well.
    I wrote a poem in college called “misunderstood” I would love to share with you somehow. You are the only person I have ever heard of who’s life sounds as full of events as mine has been!!!!

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  • Melinda Lee Smith

    Hi, Stacey! Just bought your book this afternoon and really looking forward to reading it.
    I am 63 years old and was just diagnosed with ADHD (with a “side order” of OCD) last April. Now I know why my life is so screwed up! It’s a new world for me; I have spent 60 years trying to be more like my brother & sister (both are “normal” and successful). And I beat myself up every day for not being like them. My counselor says I need to learn to accept myself as I am & stop trying to fit my round self in a square hole. There’s no support group near me so I’m happy to find people like you who are willing to put yourself out there, helping people like me. Thank you!

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  • Carole

    I’ll be ordering your book! I read through the first few chapters on Amazon and wow, flipping wow, it was like reading many of my own thoughts on someone else’s paper! Freaky!!! I was diagnosed at age 40 and all my friends (at that time, all have moved on and only call now when they want to go out for a drink and a laugh) all said, “really, you didn’t know?,” ahhh, no, I didn’t know I just knew everything was really hard and the IRS really shouldn’t have such unreasonable deadlines, every year! I knew I was not alone in my ADD world, but did not know other people really do think like me or are Jacks of all Trades, like me. Thank you. Sincerely, Carole

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  • Bonnie Christley

    I have got to read your book. I neither have ADHD or am I gifted. Well, I have always looked at anything and sketch it almost perfect , and I also paint with oil or anything. I have never taken a lesson. It came natural. So I am gifted, if you want to call it that. I was saying the other day that it is so easy I always thought everybody could do it. I am 60 years young and I want to develope my talents.

  • cathygaffney2009

    Hi.i read your Facebook page.my son is 21 when he was first diagnosed with AHDH I was told to not mention college to him or show that this was expected of him.i was to just accept that he would never amount to much.he was told to not bother sitting his test for Irish as children with AdHD don’t do Irish.well ,can I say they had never figured on what a team my son son had behind him.my son Chris has made me so proud.he is about to finish college and he did Irish.he is happy and productive and mad and forgetful and funny and kind and empathic and he had ADHD and I love all of him.id be lying If I said it wasn’t a struggle and somedays it still is.but he works so hard and is doing so well.i just want others to know that your child will succeed if you and them work together .its hard keep talking and keep saying i love you.

  • Sheri E Stull

    Wonderful, I have never thought to them supper powers. I have told people for the last year I’m Jill of all trades and master of none. Great minds do think alike.

  • Tammy Carden

    Hi Stacey, I found out that my 5 yr old son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in preschool. I have a feeling that I may have it as well. I was wondering if you could give me some advice on how to work with my son instead of against him. I am having a hard time being able to get his attitudes and behavior under control. He takes meds on a regular basis but it doesn’t seem to be helpingn anymore. I would to be able to be a better person as well as a better parent to my son.

  • cassandra clark

    I am a single mommy of two who recently found our that my youngest is autistic and has ADHD. I am in the process of assessments through multiple agency’s and am happy to see there are people who can share there stories giving me and my family moral support. Thank you for not being afraid and putting it all out there so that we all grow knowing we are not alone.

  • Jennifer

    You are right on about the brain, but truly, I see ADHD as NO gift….especially while living in a predominately NON ADHD world. Life is becoming more manageable now that I found a medication that works for me. I only wish there was a script to follow, like with other diagnoses…you know, coaching, Doctors, therapists, marriage/relationship help. Thank you for being brave enough to encourage the rest if us out here.

  • Pauline A. Finn

    I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE!!!! LOL!!!!!! :-P
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    I am HOME!!! it’s so good, not to be alone!

  • meg

    WOW! I feel like I’m home for the first time. I’m the mom of 3.. count um, THREE ADHD superheros. I don’t have ADHD so I sometimes feel like that guy spinning plates at the circus, but I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I feel sorry for the moms who just have normal kids. They’ll never know the feeling of mountaintop/ valley in the same second, that wonderful call from my daughter saying she just failed her midterm and was voted treasurer in the national honor society.
    I absolutely love all the different careers you’ve had and can’t wait to see the things my superheroes will do.

  • createdtobeloved

    Oh my goodness! I just finished your book. I am sitting here thinking about everything I read. I felt like I was reading my own story. Your book is amazing! Thank you for sharing your story.

    I have not been officially diagnosed with anything, what led me to your book was your Facebook page,and my daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD predominantly Inattentive type (but she is also gifted in Auditory Processing) and my Dad is also ADHD. I have always suspected I have it though, and my chances are pretty high I guess.

    So anyways, as I am reading your book to gain insight on my daughter’s mind, I realize I am gaining insight on my own! My life is so similar to yours that it freaked me out a little.

    Thank you for the laughs and the confirmation that I am not alone in the struggle to be AWESOME! Live Life Loud!

  • breeze

    I like many other people was diagnosed last month with ADD and I’m in my 40s. My 24yr old son was diagnosed over a year ago in University with ADHD. He was told at about age 9 he was gifted but no one ever realized he had ADHD as well…We always just thought that he didnt do his schoolwork because he was bored being so intelligent. He’s been having a really rough time with it for the past 4 months and even quit University. I started researching about it and in doing that, the lights started going off and I came to the realization that everything I was reading was describing me as well, so I went to the dr to get tested and sure enough, I have ADD.
    Today I came across your FB page which brought me here. I went out today to buy your book but I couldn’t find it so I’ve ordered it online. I can’t wait to read it especially after reading everyone’s praises.
    I’m thinking I should probably give it to my son to read first because he’s giving up, thinking he just can’t cope with living with it. I told him there are millions of people living with it and everyone just has to figure out what works for them. If anyone has any suggestions to helping him, I’d love o hear them

    Thanks again Stacey for bringing all of us together.

  • Charles Durwin McNeil

    Great to hear some positive words about ADHD I have struggled for year am now 62 years old and have decided to be who I am just as God has wired me and accept it as a gift I am going to focus on the positive and negate the negative I don’t have forever to get done what I was put here to do so Thanks and God bless you

  • Gary

    I have never formally been diagnosed as ADHD, but I am. I also have dyslexia and have been diagnosed by only every Elementary teacher I ever had. Growing up was tough when your parents expect good grades and great things from you.
    Really enjoyed your humorous description of yourself. Sounds just like me. I will be following you site, thanks for the chuckle.

  • lori Urey

    I just came across your website! I to have adhd, hyper end of bipolar severe depression (still don’t get that one, I’m really a happy person!) & 3 years ago was diagnosed with dementia. Needless to say, I am my own best friend! I am an artist with many, many, many…. talents except I can’t draw a straight line. I am looking forward to reading your book.

  • Narissa Jenkins

    I love the lines you wrote about being a Jack-of-All traits and master of none & all the guts none of the glory!!! Your bio & mine are also very similar. It’s comforting to know that there are more of us out there.

    Like the Island of Misfit Toys, if you will. Only I personally wouldn’t have wanted off that island!

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  • myreality12

    Oh my gosh, Stacey! I’m reading your book and loving it!! I just read the chapter on your wedding show. When I hit the part about the sneaky fart, holy shit, I couldn’t stop laughing. I’m talking big belly laughs that shake your whole body, not able to breathe, with tears running down my face! Ahhhh…good stuff!!

  • Laura

    Dear Stacy,

    Not only am i an adult living with ADHD, I am also a special education teacher of more than 15 middle schoolers striving to teach my kids to understand that they DO posses the ability to be successful and that their success CAN be achieved despite their ADHD with the appropriate accommodations, as well as the support of family/peers/adults/ people who understand them no matter what their age bc they also have ADHD…I am so thankful to have finally connected with a fellow adult living with the same condition to provide a real-life example of someone who truly understands a group of kids who’s natural age (middle school) is to defy and any kind of guidance/advice. Thanks!!!

  • Melannie

    Can’t wait to buy your book! My son (9) is gifted and was recently diagnosed with ADHD and I am looking into everything possible since drugs seem to be what is told I need to do, although I’m not convinced yet…

  • Lisa Santoro

    I must say this is my favorite page on fb and all I do know is look for new post on this site . As a superhero myself I went through life spinning and thinking “Why “? I knew I just knew things without learning, I fixed anything,( including changing a car battery I had to dig out of a wheel well with mini skirt on because I was already late), I solved problems quickly that no one else could imagine , and I invent things that never go anywhere but in a drawer . I always could finish everyone’s sentence ( because people never talk fast enough). I never studied or payed attention in school and passed classes like I already had that class before. I felt smart and dumb in the same minute. On this page I understand me more and more. I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD with anxiety and started adderal with success in my thinking slower and finally sleeping throughout the night with actual dreams after years of no dreaming. Deep sleep is where are dreams hide. Lol

  • Kathy

    Stacey,
    I have been brought to tears finding this page. I too was diagnosed with AD(H)D in my 40′s. There were lots of events leading up to my diagnosis. I tried to deny it for many years, not wanting to diagnose myself because I was teaching children with ADHD. But sometimes you get put between a rock and a hard place. After my diagnosis, I was put on Straterra. It was wonderful. A whole new world opened up! However, over time (a couple years) the effects started to fade. I don’t know why, but I have talked to one or two others who have experienced the same. I cannot take amphetamines as I had a cardiac event they feel stemmed from taking one of those meds. So now, I am left with nothing. It was much easier being naive about how others experienced life. Now I am frustrated and sad. Although I have changed my lifestyle quite a bit, I know I have to do more. I was able to earn a degree and get my masters before being diagnosed, so I should be able to keep going. However, it feels that the older I get, the more difficult it becomes. I live in fear I may have early ahlzheimers because I can’t remember anything. I’m afraid of turning into a hoarder when I get old as I can’t decide what I should keep and get rid of. Although, people who know me, see me joke about the things I do or the way I am, I do still live with these fears in the back of my mind. It is comforting to read some of your posts on facebook as I have done a lot of those things and know that I am not the only one. Thank you for having this place to escape to. I will be looking to get your book very soon!

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  • Darra Robertson

    Totally understand, was told I was bright but didn’t apply myself. Geez, there were too many interesting things going on around me. Considered medication at one point yet my Doctor and I realized that it was ok to continue bouncing off the squares and straight lines.
    Didn’t fit in with some of the Broadmoor, CO.

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    It’s wonderful that you are getting thoughts
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  • Melisa L. Williams Younger

    Thank you so much for making this page. I just found it a few days ago and been excited ever since. It’s great to read others post who experience or feel what I go thru in a day.

  • JayLynn

    I am so excited to have found this page. I was not diagnosed until adulthood. I always thought I was an outcast. It is so cool to know others go through what I do and feel what I feel. There needs to be more real education out there about ADD. How many of you feel like most people think it’s not real or think you do stuff just to tick them off??? I’m tired of it! I am a teacher and see ADD talked about like its nothing all of the time. Thanks so much for this forum and for your FB page!!

  • Amy Walker

    Oh my gosh! You are hysterical. And exactly like me! Thank you.

  • patti

    i am 47 years old and have always felt different…didn’t fit in to any one group – professionals, friends…just walked around loooking for that one thing – that one thing that would make sense of my life for me…my writing is a hot and cold place i “live in”…i set lofty goals that i will never acheive…-absolutely can’t balance a checkbook…i procrastinate..i hate getting out of bed and and am completely distracted by anything…the bird outside of my window…the stain on my kitchen floor. i make mental to- do lists and naybe 1/3 of the way into it – i realize i should do something else…half completed projects…unbalanced checkbooks…a dear old froend once said to me, “when i talk to you – i feel like you can see right through me” ..well he was kind of right – i was looking through him – trying to remember if i’d completed my french assignment and thinking – can he pls stop taking for 5 minutes so i can clear my head. sometimes people don’t even notice that i’ve checked out…daydreaming, torturing myself over things i’ve forgotten – sometimes before the person’s finished what they’re saying…i’m gone…i procrastinate – another thing i hate about myself…and i’m tired . i’m so grateful to have found you all…maybe i’ve found a place that fits. :-)

  • Lisa

    Hey!
    Just stumbled across your Facebook page and I need to go and have words with my mother about not telling me that she gave up my twin at birth. Totally not cool!!!
    Ha! Definitely need to go find your book. I love my ridiculousness and some people just don’t get it. Awesome to see someone else who feels the same way!
    Best of luck in your next endeavor!!!

  • lou serwan

    Finally. ..

  • Inez Jacob

    Loved reading your book Stacey. Thank you for so openly sharing your life it was wonderful to see pieces of my twice blessed and cursed self in you stories and reflections. Would love read more about your experiences as a mother and the chaos that brought as that is a big question facing me. I’ve always wanted children but finally getting a handle on my life as it stands I can face the possibility that maybe it would be too much. Do you have plans to write another book? Anyways. Thanks again.

  • Jim,1RaginCajunScot!;)

    Love your page!!
    My ‘AHA! moment’ came over 30 years ago when, at 33, I was diagnosed as ADHD. Few people had ever heard of ADD, much less being ‘Twice Exceptional’! I thought it was a disease!!;)
    Believe me, I’ve more than made up for those early years of beating myself up over bad grades, low self-esteem, etc.!
    Can’t wait to read your books!!
    Bon Chance!

  • jean

    I have not yet read your book but the title alone explains a lot of my life, and I am sure if I get around to actually reading it, it will be great…I am 44, and didn’t find out until i was 40, so I raised all 4 of my kids in the raw without medication. I am of course a fan of your facebook page, and relate and resemble 99.99% of the postings, so I just wanted to Thank you for reassuring me I wasn’t the only one of my kind….

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    Hi, my 8 year old son has just been diagnosed with both. I’ve struggled to explain it to family and friends. Your opening blurb hits the nail on the head and I’ve shared it with them hoping eventually they’ll get it. I’m hoping to easy my son in to life with both and not have him feeling like a freak or too quirky. Cheers

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